"Chasing Pavements"

I build myself up and fly around in circles
Wait then as my heart drops and my back begins to tingle
Finally, could this be it?
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements

Even if it leads nowhere?

Dan and I don't have cable in our apartment, or any channels in English for that matter, so the only show we watch somewhat consistently is "Glee." It's definitely my show of choice when I have a little down time. Luckily, Dan tolerates the corny drama, choreography, and show tunes. Actually, I think he might kind of like it too. :)

This weekend, we were catching up on "Glee," and the last song we heard was a rendition of Adele's "Chasing Pavement." I'm not usually a crier when it comes to movies or shows, but this one got me! The thing that I love about "Glee" is that it tackles real world issues without over-simplifying them, and it uses that one language that speaks to a person like nothing else can- music! So at the risk of being overly-dramatic, here's why this episode moved me. 

I've heard the song "Chasing Pavements" before, but I had never listened to it in the way that this episode translated it, and I felt like I completely identified with the lyrics. There have been so many beautiful moments these past few months, for the most part outweighing the lousy ones, and I am so blessed to be at a wonderful school, in a wonderful program, and to be supported by an incredibly patient, loving husband. All in all though, this experience so far has absolutely stretched me to my max, and to what somedays seems like beyond. I love each one of my adorable Kindergarten students so much, but trying to effectively teach and nurture all 28 to the degree that they each need seems impossible most days.  I am incessantly wondering if I am really cut out for this. 60-ish hour weeks, plus work on weekends, and all the while feeling uncertain of whether I am doing any service at all to these kids and their families. Especially in a city where you are just another face in the crowd it begins to feel like you are constantly "chasing pavement" that never ends and never amounts to what you thought it might.


Just this week I have begun to feel a tiny bit more on top of lesson plans and grad school. My hope is that as I get a handle on these aspects of my life, my relationships with my scholars and their families will also deepen because at the moment it feels like I'm just barely keeping my head above water. Hm... For some reason it feels like I have done this whole first year of teaching thing before... So why isn't it any easier the second time around?!

Communications

Dan’s first album is now available on iTunes!

A large part of our living room (which is probably a total of 200 square-feet, and was less back in Oklahoma) has been devoted to Dan’s music studio over the past year. I have been an incredibly tolerant wife, if I do say so myself. :) Honestly though, I love watching him go through the creative process from beginning to end. Since last December, he has been brainstorming, writing, recording, mastering, and re-mastering. The sounds range from pop to electronica, and include two of our good friends from OKC who were kind enough to record vocals.

His intentions aren’t to make big bucks or to be “discovered,” but simply to share his music! He’s planning to look into some open mic nights around Brooklyn as well. I am thrilled that he has had this opportunity to take time to pursue his incredible talent in the way he feels drawn!

His tracks include:

• An Emotional Goodbye
• At This Place, On This Corner…
• Can You See Beauty?
• Feel the Riddim
• Listen
• Niyah
• Offense, Defense
• One Brigher Light
• Teddy the Ghost
• Thursday Night

Check it out if you’re interested!

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Yesterday, Dan and I spent the afternoon at Prospect Park, one of the largest parks in NYC, perhaps second only to Central Park, and just 4 blocks away in our very own neighborhood! We started the day by visiting our local farmer's market. We chose some locally-sourced andouille sausage, a half pound of creamy, "Oktobarska" cheese, a carton of grapes, and a baguette, and we headed to the park.

                   

We enjoyed our lunch underneath a gray sky amongst families, couples, and friends enjoying a beautiful Sunday. Off to our right was a large family doting over the only child in the group. They broke out in song, singing "Happy Birthday" with beautiful European accents. Later, we observed a father teaching his maybe-6-year-old son the finer points of soccer. "Charge the ball!" "You have to be agressive!" And finally, "Are you tired of practicing already?" :) Later came a couple in their 20's playing a game I remember playing in school. They took turns slapping each others hands, while the other tried to move out of the way in time- it was amusing to watch. We saw countless family gatherings, many of which were Latino families kicking around soccer balls and grilling corn. We noticed many were listening to traditional mariachi-style music. Dan and I discussed how much we enjoyed this sound. So often, music affects our mood and can transport us to a place that feels like home. It would be hard not to enjoy yourself with mariachi acting as the soundtrack to your day!

It was refreshing to see people relaxing and enjoying their loved ones, especially in this grinding culture of 12-hour work days and no time for a smile. It was beautiful to see so many families and friends enjoying their time together and making fun for themselves, whether by grilling, listening to music, playing volleyball, throwing a frisbee... or slapping each others' hands. ;)